Ep 08: Why You Don't Need to Fear Conflict in Your Community

Apr 12

Do Not Fear Conflict In Your Community

I recently had a Voxer conversation with a close friend who's facing issues within her membership community. She runs a highly successful community focused on relationship building. Like many others, she encountered problems with an accountability group. One member's negative influence began to spoil the entire group dynamic.

Handling The Storming Cycle In A Community

Initially, this individual expressed dissatisfaction with certain program changes via email. As a result, other members from different groups joined in, creating a storm of discontent. The Storming Cycle in communities, starts with one person who has created influence inside of the peer group. This is where my friend found herself.

One person wasn't happy with the way something was going in the membership and peer group time turned into complaint time. Then my friend started getting emails from other members from that peer group, which then started to spread to other peer groups.

Responding To Members’ Concerns

She sought my advice on how to handle the situation and respond to these members' concerns. Unfortunately, there was little she could do to appease them, as their demands clashed with the program's intended direction. Recognizing this, she shifted her focus from trying to please them to letting them go.

Friend, I want you to know, it is 100% okay to fire members. You will want to think about it before you do it and what that ripple effect might be, but you can definitely fire them. So, ultimately she shifted her energy from a place of trying to save them to a place of letting them go.

Creating A Realignment Moment

These types of conflicts tend to spread and permeate other peer groups within the community. Members hear whispers and conversations may occur outside the community platform. To address this, my friend came up with an idea—to conduct a live session in the group where she could discuss the underlying mindset issue. We brainstormed together, and I encouraged her to view this as a realignment moment.

Conflict itself is not necessarily negative. In my own marriage, I've learned that navigating conflict can lead to renewed intimacy. Similarly, in business and other relationships, conflict presents an opportunity to take control of the narrative and shape the culture. During the live session, my friend needed to clarify what behavior was acceptable and what was not within the community.

I advised her to focus on the individuals who were easily influenced by the negative member, highlighting the impact of their associations on their mindset. It was crucial to remind them that getting caught up in nitpicking and negativity distracted them from their primary goal of building their businesses. Peer groups should be about collaboration, support, and progress—not complaints and drama.

By realigning the members around their common purpose and desired culture, my friend could address the conflict and set a new tone. It was not necessary for all members to be aware of the specific conflict; instead, it presented an opportunity to strengthen the community by reaffirming their shared objectives.

Be Prepared for Conflict

Remember, when conflict arises in your own community, it should not automatically be viewed as a negative occurrence. If handled well and approached as a realignment moment, conflicts can actually strengthen your community. If Community conflict scares you, you need a solid conflict management plan. I teach you how to create one in my Cultivate course Plus I’ll show you how to create a strong culture that reduces conflict in the first place. Let me help you take the overwhelm out of building your community. Join my Cultivate community training program.