Ep 155: How to Scale with Intimacy and Personalization

Feb 4

How to Scale Intimacy and Personalization in Your Membership

Many membership owners believe scaling intimacy and personalization isn’t possible. Here’s the truth: not only is it possible, but it’s also the secret to creating a highly engaging and profitable membership. I’ve helped my clients add over $3.4 million in annual recurring revenue while scaling their memberships to thousands of members—without sacrificing connection.

In this article, I’ll cover:

Why people think they can’t scale intimacy and personalization.
The three ways scaling goes wrong.
How to refine your approach so you can grow your membership while keeping members connected and engaged.

Why People Think They Can’t Scale Intimacy

Many membership owners hold the belief that scaling intimacy and personalization isn’t possible. Here’s where this belief often comes from:

Past Experiences:

Some membership owners have had negative experiences in large memberships where the leader became less involved.
However, this is often a choice, not a necessity. Leaders may intentionally shift to team-supported models to free up their time, not because intimacy is unscalable.

Overwhelm:

Scaling feels overwhelming, especially if you don’t know how to do it or don’t have the skills or resources in place.

Emotional Attachment:

Membership owners sometimes feel personally responsible for every member’s success, leading to burnout and resistance to scaling.

Scaling intimacy and personalization is entirely possible—it just requires the right approach.

Three Common Scaling Mistakes

When membership owners attempt to scale without a plan, things often go wrong in one of three ways:

1. Freezing

Fear of scaling leads to inaction.
Membership owners limit or stop growth because they believe scaling will ruin the member experience.

2. Flailing

Scaling without a plan for growth leads to broken systems, reduced personalization, and higher churn.
This often results in lower lifetime value (LTV) and an unsustainable membership model.

3. Stalling

Overthinking scaling leads to inaction. Owners try to build systems for thousands of members before reaching 50, creating unnecessary complexity and delays.

Scaling requires a balance of intentionality and flexibility. Over-engineering too early can stifle growth, while failing to prepare can lead to burnout.

What You Need to Scale Intimacy

1. Focus on the Right Elements

Scaling isn’t about creating more content—content is inherently scalable.
Instead, focus on scaling:

Guidance: Clear direction for members.
Coaching: Personalized support and motivation.
Connection: Building relationships and a sense of belonging.

2. Refine and Redesign for Scale

To scale effectively, you need to optimize three key areas:

People: Who does the work?
Systems: What tools do they use?
Processes: How do they do it?

When refining these areas, aim for both efficiency and efficacy—not just working faster, but working better.

Practical Ways to Scale Intimacy

Here are examples of how to scale intimacy and connection in your membership:

Add Coaching Support: Move from one-on-one coaching to small group calls (e.g., one-on-three or one-on-five).
Segment Your Community: Break large communities into smaller interest groups, accountability pods, or local meetups for deeper connection.
Personalize Communication: Use tagging and segmentation to send tailored emails instead of generic messages.
Delegate with Intention: Hire a community manager or support team to handle day-to-day interactions while maintaining a personal touch.
Streamline Support: Consolidate multiple support channels into one system to improve response times and efficiency.

Mindset Shifts for Scaling

Scaling often requires a shift in mindset, especially when it comes to change.

Communicate Change Clearly:

Members believe what you tell them to believe about change. When you explain how a change benefits them, they’re more likely to embrace it.

Focus on Value:

Every change you implement should serve your members better. If it doesn’t, reconsider why you’re making it.

Keep Selling:

You’re always marketing inside your membership. Show members why changes are good and how they enhance their experience.

The Secret to Sustainable Scaling

Scaling intimacy and personalization takes intentionality, but it’s entirely possible—and highly profitable. When done well, it:

Increases retention.
Boosts lifetime value.
Creates a scalable, sustainable membership model.

To explore more ways to scale intimacy and connection in your membership:

Download my free guide at connectionideas.com for 77+ ideas to increase connection.
Learn how to improve retention with my free resource at retainguide.com.